


Trust Me, You Belong (always had, always will)

by justanothergirlwithaphone



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor-centric, POV Lena Luthor, Protective Alex Danvers, Protective Lena Luthor, Sad Lena Luthor, Science Siblings, post 5x19, superfriends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothergirlwithaphone/pseuds/justanothergirlwithaphone
Summary: What happens after Season 5 episode 19?Because not all of us could wait for one year, let me word it out for you.Lena Luthor is done trying to push people away, done with being alone. All she needs is a group of people she could trust, and if the universe decides not to mess with her again, these group of people may just be the one she needs.Or how Lena deals with everything that has happened in the episode finale and how her relationships with not only Kara, but also the rest of the Superfriends grow.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, J'onn J'onzz | Hank Henshaw & Lena Luthor, J'onn J'onzz | Hank Henshaw/M'gann M'orzz, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor & Andrea Rojas, Lena Luthor & Kelly Olsen, Lena Luthor & Nia Nal, Lena Luthor & Superfriends, Querl Dox & Lena Luthor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 139
Collections: Supergirl Fandom





	Trust Me, You Belong (always had, always will)

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think of the Season 5 finale? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Personally, aside from a few points that 'didn't really follow character arc', and the whole Covid-19 situation, I feel like it was pretty okay. Hence, the fact that this is NOT a fix-it fic.  
> This is more a 'since we have no more content until next year, why don't I write something' fic.
> 
> Really looking forward to more Lena x Superfriends interactions for season 6.  
> So WHY NOT I write what I would like to see?  
> Plus, let's give Lena some domesticity because she deserves it.
> 
> btw, let's just ignore Lex and Lillian for the moment (they are busy planning their next step to interfere)

It was like a breath of fresh air. She was drowning, and the water that had suffocated her for ages evaporated from her lungs; it’s like she could finally, _finally_ breathe again. 

“Okay.” Her voice shuddered. “What now?”

“Well, there’s still one bad guy left to catch.”

She didn’t have to say who; she knows. Instead of feeling conflicted and bitter like she used to at the mention of her brother, she felt a sense of tranquility. Instead of determination to defeat her brother, it was determination in working together with them again; and by ‘them’ she meant the Superfriends, as cheesy as it sounds (Kara came up with it, so it wasn’t a huge surprise). For the first time in a long while, the smile on her face didn’t seem to hide any pain or remorse behind it. 

It may be fate that Lena was born and raised a Luthor, but it’s her choice which team she is fighting on; even if it means the Luthors’ name is plastered on the opposite team. With that, she extended her hand, “Let’s go take my brother down.” It was an unspoken thing for them about that particular handshake. It had happened too many times in the past between her and Supergirl every time they try to make up after a ‘fight’, but this time, it symbolizes a reconciliation between her and Kara. Not Kara Danvers, Supergirl or whatever her real name on Krypton was; _just Kara_. 

For a moment, they just stood there, gazing into each other’s eyes, trying to take in this huge _growth_ in their relationship.

Maybe she saw the need in her eyes, Kara wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Despite the heaviness in Lena’s stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against hers. It wasn’t the kind they used to have, the one simple enough, where they would hold each other tightly and it would just feel… _right_ , without forgetting the tiny little squeeze before letting go; but she sunk into the warmth of her side nonetheless, appreciative of the simple gesture. Her touch made the room warmer somehow, it always have, always will.

They weren’t there yet. They might have forgiven each other but she knows things wouldn’t go back to the way it was so easily. Just like a game of chess, it takes one move at a time.

 _We’ll get there_ , she promised herself.

x  
...

“LENA!” 

Both their heads snapped to the voice shouting her name. J’onn was carrying an unconscious Brainy while M’gann was helping a clearly limping and nearly passed-out Nia. 

“What happened? Why is Brainy green?” Concern filled Kara’s voice as she rushed towards them. 

_Oh God please no—_ Lena stared, unable to finish that thought. “Put them there, quickly.” She paced towards the medical beds in the trauma room at the far end of her lab (accidents tend to happen a lot in her lab, which explains the need for a trauma room). Promptly, she slapped on sterile gloves, hooked him up to the monitors and an IV bag. “Alex, can—“

“Already on it.”

Lena looked up. Surely enough, Alex was doing the same to Nia on the other bed. 

She grabbed her tablet after taking a sample of the green liquid oozing out of his mouth and ran diagnostics on it. “What were they exposed to?” 

_Speak up, we’re running on limited time here._

“Brainy mentioned something about radiation shields before passing out.” Nia groaned, her voice weak. 

“There are no traces of radiation in either of their bodies. But Brainy’s cells are dying at an aggressive rate. What else could they have been exposed to?” she asked in a more urgent tone, this time facing the ones who carried them in. 

“Brainy’s vitals are dropping fast.” Alex voiced out. 

_Not really helping the situation here Alex._

“Well?” _Give me something, ANYTHING that I could work on._

“We found them on Leviathan’s ship. Whatever it is, Nia was dampening its effects using her oneiric energy manipulation.” J’onn replied.

“Okay, good start. So what do we know about Leviathan? Anything that they could have used, or their powers that may have caused this.”

“We don’t know much about Leviathan, other than the fact that they can control the elements, and are immortal.”

Lena had never wanted to punch someone in the face so badly before. _One of us is dying here, but sure let’s spit out some facts that all of us already know._

“Lena.” Alex called out again, this time her voice dangerously low.

Lena sensed the urgency in her tone. In seconds, she had run further calculations and prognosis on both their conditions. “Whatever they may have been exposed to, Nia is currently stable, but not Brainy. We have about half an hour to figure out what’s wrong with him, and to do something about it before he dies.” 

She shouldn’t have said the d- word, because all hell broke loose after that. Suddenly everybody is either talking, or arguing among themselves, or at Lena, she didn’t know. She was having a little breakdown of her own to notice.

“Hey Lena.” She felt a hand on her shoulder. “You can do this.” She looked into those gentle baby blue eyes, expecting to be given one of the classic Supergirl’s hope speeches, but no. It was the look filled with reassurance and adoration that _Kara_ had always given her ever since she moved to National City. Every time she had almost given up on herself, it was that look that brought her back. Like a successful attempt to kick-start a motorcycle, her brain tingled like a hand that's been sat on for too long.

_I can do this._

“Can everybody just shut up for five minutes!”

She probably shouldn’t have yelled because everybody was looking at her with bulging eyes, stunned and clearly surprised.

_No, I’m not going to kill you. I just need you to be quiet so I can hear myself think._

Anyone would be in awe if they could see the insides of Lena’s mind. The untangling of problems, categorizing them on an imaginary whiteboard, linking them with potential causes and solutions. Crossing them out once irrelevant. Differential diagnostics, physics, chemistry, biology all thrown together in the batter. It’s like watching Sherlock Holmes solving his mysteries, only without the commentary. 

God, Lena was scared. She didn’t know why. She may not have personally known Brainy for a long time or had enough interactions for her to have any personal feelings in this matter but— hell, it’s Brainy. They had seen each other cry, for Christ’s sake. The one person aside from Kara who she had shared personal things with. And Brainy is the closest thing she has to a science sibling. _**”Little boxes, comrade”**_ , she could hear him say in her head. She admits that it’s not the healthiest way to deal with feelings, eventually the little boxes will get opened, but that’s not the point, because right now if she doesn’t shove these feelings in, she thinks she will combust. 

_**“Will you he— Will you help... me?”** _

_I’m really trying my best here, but I don’t know how._

_**“Lena is always right. Mmm-hmm. She’s very sagacious.”** _

_You’re wrong. I was wrong._

_**”What? I’m not a robot. I’m techno-organic. I have feelings.”** _

_That’s it. THAT’S IT. Brainy may have an organic body, but he’s a Coluan. Oh my god, thank you Brainy._

Pulling up all the information she has on Coluans, she read, “ _As digital beings, Coluans are able to self-repair, though only if they are conscious._ So I just have to make sure that Brainy is conscious enough to repair his own cells.”

“Okay, but how are we going to do that?” Kara asked.

“Brainy is half technology. And lucky for me, I’m an expert in technology. If I could somehow find a back door to his entire physiology code which controls his state of consciousness, maybe I could override whatever it is that is causing him to be in this state.”

“So, you’re hacking into him?” 

“No, I’m— yeah. Yeah, I’m hacking into him.”

_**“I understand that you have been betrayed by many people in your life, Lena. But if you want to be trusted and accepted, then you must also trust. It will be risky, but I can tell you that if you close all doors, you will have a 99.9% chance of sorrow.”** _

One thing that everybody knows about Lena is the fact that she has been guarded her whole life. Walls built so tall that no one could ever think of climbing over, or knocking it down. Until...until these guys showed up.

_Well Brainy, I hope this works, because if it doesn’t, I can guarantee you that I will have a 100% chance of sorrow._

x  
...  
[Two days later]

She heard a knock. 

Deciding against the taser in her hand (if anyone wanted to hurt her, they probably wouldn’t have knocked first), she opened the door and was greeted by a familiar, though unexpected face. 

“Alex?” She looked around, expecting Kara to be there too. “Is everything alright? Is Kara okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just stopping by to see how you’re doing and if you would like to come to game night tonight at Kara’s. Normally Kara would text you, but you blocked all our numbers and she has a thing going on so, here I am.” She held out a cup of coffee, which Lena gladly accepted while she mentally noted to unblock all of them later. (yes she knows it’s a childish move but let’s give her a break)

Lena would be lying if she said that Alex showing up at her doorstep unaccompanied wasn’t surprising to say the least. The two of them had never interacted with each other alone, aside from a few team-ups for the DEO previously, and those were either strictly professional, or on the edge of trying to save the world from doomsday. Sure, she had spent weekly game nights, thanksgivings, and Christmases with her and Kara, but those usually include a whole bunch of people, so she really never got around to know the other Danvers sister. It wouldn’t even be an overstatement to say that she wasn't entirely sure where they were on the friendship scale, or if they even have one anymore. _(Though she would gladly admit the jinx they had in her lab two days ago was— nice, if not say…close)_ One other thing that she would never ever admit to anybody (especially Alex) is the fact that Alex is one of the very few people she thinks to be quite intimidating, despite the bravado she puts on during their interactions. If anyone had told her that Alex could kill Lena with just her pinky, she would have believed it, zero question asked. 

“Are you going to let me in? Or are we going to have a conversation in the hallway?”

“Sorry. I’m just a little surprised that’s all.”

Alex gave a little hum as she looked around her living room. “So this is where the multibillionaire Lena Luthor lives. I’m not gonna lie, I was expecting at least one glass-encased chess set.”

“I do have the ‘Art of War’ chess set somewhere in here.” She didn’t mention that Lex was the one who had given her that chess set as a gift, or that she had carelessly thrown it in a corner somewhere in the penthouse because she couldn’t bear to look at it and be reminded of the pain. 

“Really? Didn’t really take you as the Sun Tzu type. Thought you were more of a $10 million Jewel Royale chess set kind of woman.”

Lena was maybe a little impressed that Alex knows anything about chess sets at all. Most (normal) people will not take much notice at something as trivial as chess sets. “Just because it’s the most expensive chess set in the world, it doesn’t mean anything unless the person who owns it masters the game itself.”

Just like that, Lena killed the conversation. An awkward silence settled over them, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere. Unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching each other’s glances. Lena shifted uncomfortably in her seat on the couch, awkwardly tracing the outlines of the coffee cup sleeve in her hand. While she contemplated what to say to mask the stillness of the atmosphere, Alex spoke. 

“I’m sorry.”

A muscle in her jaw twitched. She really doesn’t want to have this conversation right now. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who helped Lex with—“

“No, I don’t mean the ‘Lex thing’. I meant L-Corp. I know how hard you work for the last few years, rebranding your company and bringing it in a different direction. It’s really a shame that it just...disappeared after the whole crisis shenanigans.”

_Yeah, I’m sorry about that too._

Eyes widened slightly before the corners of her mouth quirked up. “Sorry Lex ruined the DEO.”

“Okay, I know he’s a bastard and everything, but did he _really_ need to bring the whole DEO building down?!” Alex asked with a fake exasperation on her face. 

The laugh that came out of Lena was more like a snort and cough roll into one. She stopped, wide-eyed. When Alex leaned back into the couch, her laugh more like a bust water main arching into the brilliant summer sky soaking everyone around her with unrestrained gales that debilitated her to a thigh-slapping and picture of glee, Lena couldn’t help but to laugh along as well. Just like that, the brittle air from moments earlier is now replaced with the laughter of two ‘supposedly sane’ women. 

By the time both of them stopped, the glance in both their eyes are filled with delight and adoration. 

“So, what do you think of my suit? Pretty badass huh?”

“It’s…not bad.” Alex raised an eyebrow. “Okay, it’s pretty cool. Could use some upgrades.”

“I have some ideas in mind, maybe you could help me with it.”

Lena was taken aback. Sure, they were on the path of gaining each other trusts again, but she didn’t think it would be that fast. To be talking about working on upgrades for Alex’s new alter-ego, that’s a whole new level of faith. “Are you sure?” her voice croaked slightly. 

“Well, are you going to sabotage my suit?”

“What? Of course not—“

“Then I’m sure.” 

Lena looked into her eyes. Like, really really look into it, and she saw. She saw that Alex really meant it. And wow, she didn’t know how to explain the feeling forming in her but she loved it. 

“Alright then. Come to my lab anytime and we can talk about those upgrades.”

They spent half the morning talking about tech specs, science, L-Corp, Kara, and some random stuffs that got thrown into the mix.

“I’ve always wanted to ask you a question.”

“That’s not a question.” Alex quipped.

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Why an agent? I’ve seen you being all ‘science-y’ before, and I gotta admit, you’re pretty good at it too.”

“Well, this is definitely the first time I’ve heard someone ‘science-y’,” Alex air-quoted, “describe doing actual science stuffs as ‘science-y’. And for the record, I’m not just good at it, I’m excellent at it. You probably didn’t know this, but you would have died if I didn’t save you back then. Okay, to be fair, Kara saved you, but if it wasn’t for my superb diagnostic skills, she wouldn’t have saved you in time.” She continued, smug.

There was a dazed look in Lena’s eyes, or in retrospect, maybe it was a questioning look, which earned herself one in return before Alex jumped and slapped her forehead. “Right, you didn’t know. So uh, remember you were poisoned?”

 _Poisoned? When has she been— Oh. The dream that she had about Kara flying._ Lena practically wished a hole could just open up and spare her from the embarrassment. 

“To be fair, Agent Danvers, you did try to kill me too.”

“Hey, NO—“ she jumped up from the couch.

“I was joking.”

Alex looked amused. “Didn’t think you know how to do that.” She lifted both her hands up in defense when Lena gave her a side-eye that pretty much screams _really?_. 

“My dad was a scientist before joining the DEO. You’ve seen Eliza in her bioengineering, scientist-self. I did med school in NCU and also conducted genetic engineering research at Stanford. I practically grew up in a science-based environment. So when an opportunity came to do something other than being stuck in a lab all day, I took it.”

She saw a hidden story behind her gleaming eyes. “But what was the _real_ reason?”

Alex cocked a brow in surprise. “You’re pretty good at reading people, Lena Luthor. If you ever get bored in your lab, you would do pretty well as an interrogator.“ 

“A ‘pretty good’ interrogator would say you are trying to change the subject.”

“Touché Lena. Well, since you’re so keen on me going down memory lane, I went through a rough patch in my early twenties. I wasn’t out yet at the time, probably didn’t even know I was gay, but I guess it did something to me. I partied very hard and drank my way to oblivion. I fell behind in most of my classes and got myself an academic probation. Things got out of hand pretty fast. I was arrested one night for driving under influence. That was the night I met J’onn. He offered me a position in the DEO, and I began training under him. Eventually, I realized working there stopped me from being a crazy alcoholic. Though I do miss nerding out in the lab sometimes, there’s a certain thrill being out in the field.”

Lena nodded at the explanation. Right on cue, a notification rang through Alex’s phone. “I gotta go soon. Date with Kelly.” She got up from the couch, preparing to leave before turning around, facing the still-seated Lena again. “You’re coming tonight right?” 

Hesitation loomed over her face. “I— I don’t know Alex. Isn’t it a little too early for me to be there with you guys?” 

“I know what you’re doing. You are worried that it would be awkward. I’m not going to lie to you, it would be. It definitely will not be like before. I could confirm that there would be a lot of Supergirl-related jokes, so watch out for that,” she added, trying to lighten the mood. “Look, the only way for it to stop being awkward is to push past through it. You know the drill, you’ve done all those before.” 

“Well, the first time I wasn’t really coming from the opposite team.”

“Sure you made some bad choices, we all did, I’m not gonna deny, yours were a tad extreme, but what’s important is that you came around. You saved Kara, Brainy, and we couldn’t have done it without you.” She slipped her hand into Lena’s. “For once, try moving on from the past. Kelly says it’s not healthy to keep dwelling on it. Plus, it’s not like you have anything better to do anyway,” she shrugged. “You could, one, sit here and finish that bottle of scotch alone“ —she gestured to the unopened bottle of Van Horne, 30-year-old single malt Scotch whiskey sitting on the cabinet—“feeling all sad and lonely, or two, finish that bottle of scotch with me tonight during game’s night, because god knows we all need a drink after that crazy fight. Believe me when I say I would really much prefer drinking overpriced scotch than some cheap bourbon from…wherever it came from.”

Lena still doesn’t look convinced, but gave in anyways. “Fine.”

“So, I take that as you are coming tonight?”

Lena held up the bottle of scotch. “Like you said, this is not going to finish itself.”

Alex grinned at the remark. “For what’s it worth, we consider you family. And when you’re family, you can say what you need to say, and the people that love you still will love you.” 

A flash of familiarity came with the sentence. She heard it before. “Kara said the same thing to me once.”

“Where do you think she got it from?” she smirked, before turning and closing the door behind her. 

x  
….

“Andrea?”

“Andrea? It’s um.. Lena.”

“Please open the door Andrea.”

“I brought chicken soup, and pizza so please open up.”

Lena sighed. She had been standing and knocking on Andrea’s apartment door for fifteen minutes. She knew Andrea is inside because she could hear the occasional shuffling of shoes from the other side of the door.

“Andrea, I swear to god I have been standing here with food and if you don’t open the goddamn door, I am going to knock it down myself.”

She really hadn’t expected the threat to work, hence explaining the shock on her face when the door was replaced with a tired-looking, slightly annoyed brunette.

“What do you want from me Lena?” Andrea’s voice croaked.

_Just trying to be a friend._

“I’m here to check up on you,” she replied, pushing her way past Andrea and into her apartment.

“I do not need you to check up on me.”

“Yeah? Well neither did I back in boarding school, but you did it anyway. So here I am.”

After eyeing her for a second, Andrea grabbed a piece of pizza from the box in one hand and a glass of scotch in another, “Fine. But I’m drinking, and you better not stop me.”

Lena smirked. “Well, can I at least join you?”

Andrea only waved her hand with the glass, and Lena took it as _do whatever you want_ and grabbed a glass of her own before joining her on the couch.

x

“For the last time Lena, I do not want to talk about it.”

_Trust me I don’t want to talk about it too. But we have to._

After finishing the pizza and the usual pleasantries, Lena had tried to convince Andrea to talk about the entire Leviathan and Acrata situation. Note the word, TRY. Yes, it is very unlike her to ask someone to talk about their feelings when all she does is the opposite, but obviously, little boxes probably would make things worse at the moment. And she’s trying; trying to be more open to people around her, and perhaps this is one way to start.

“Please Andrea. Just talk to me. I know this is not easy for you and you must have a lot of questions on your mind. I know you’re scared Andrea. I can help you. You just have to talk to me.”

_Just imagine the look on Lillian’s face hearing me practically begging my former best friend who betrayed me to talk her feelings out with me._

“It’s no big deal. I can handle it myself.”

_God this woman is stubborn. No wonder we were best friends._

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.”

Andrea looked at her, forehead scrunched, head tilted, seemingly as to try to figure out what the deal is with the woman sitting next to her. “What do you want from me Lena?”

_To talk._

“I know I don’t do touchy feelings stuffs. I’m as uncomfortable as you are right now. Trust me I would rather be at home drinking wine than sitting here, practically begging you to talk to me. But I promised you two days ago that I would be there for you, no matter what. So here I am, being here, for you. And you’re not going to push me away, because I spent the better half of my life pushing people away, and I know how lonely it gets.” 

_Is Kara having an effect on me or am I getting better at these kinds of speeches._

After weighing the words that she heard from her friend’s mouth, Andrea began to talk. For real, this time. Andrea explained what happened and Lena told her everything she knew about Acrata. She has promised Andrea that she would do everything in her power to save Obsidian North, as well as her dad. And they both know, Lena is a woman of her words. They ended up talking about more than both would have liked. Reminiscing about the good old days was certainly on the top of the list of ‘things we should never talk about again’. Today was an exception to be vulnerable; to the point where Lena even hugged Andrea before leaving.

_Maybe talking wasn’t so bad after all._

x  
...

She is at full-on panicking mode. It doesn’t help when all the reasons coming to this game night would be a bad idea come flooding in right when Marcus (her driver) dropped her off, as if her body chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. 

_Is it too late to text Kara and say I couldn’t make it? I could say there’s an emergency in the lab._

_Yes. Yes it is, you bloody idiot. You’re literally standing right in front of her door._

She took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing._

It didn’t end up as bad as she thought. 

Scratch that. It was the best night she had this year.

There were eight of them and had to be divided into groups of four for the first game, J’onn’s personal favourite, Catch Phrase. 

Their team selection process is pretty much similar to the ones high school kids use to choose their football or dodgeball team in gym class. _(If you don’t know what this is, basically there are 2 team captains, and they get to choose who they want on their team alternately)_ For some reason, the ‘team captains’ for the night were Brainy and Alex. Not that she had any experience in getting chosen last (because when Kara’s captain, she’ll always choose Lena first; when she’s not, Kara will pout at the team captain that chose her to choose Lena next), but she was sure that tonight would be the night where she would be the leftover. 

Which was why, Lena was surprised when Brainy had called on her first, _her_ , not Nia, her. (Lena thinks the only reason he picked her was because she saved his life) Alex chose Kara. Since an argument had been made that J’onn and M’gann couldn’t be on the same team because they are linked so they would definitely know what each other are thinking, J’onn ended up in Brainy’s team and M’gann in Alex’s. Brainy shocked everyone when he chose Kelly, stating that her career as a psychologist would increase the percentage of them winning by 20% as she is better at reading people. It was the most absurd team formed in the history of Danvers’ game night; with Lena, Brainy, J’onn, and Kelly together in one team. A team that had zero experience working together (except for Brainy and Lena), zero chemistry, and clearly, zero chance of winning, but of course Lena only kept that to herself. 

Funny thing was, Kelly and her, for some reason, had exceptional chemistry, which earned her a friendly-but-deadly glare from Alex. Kelly has an extensive knowledge on...everything, and so does Lena. Their team won, and everybody laughed at the most adorable tantrum thrown by Kara who sat pouting on the floor. 

The next few agendas require teams of two. Since everybody had a significant other except for her and Kara, obviously there were put together as a team. It helped a little when Kara slung an arm around her shoulders and shouted in glee. “We are so going to crush you guys. Karlena for the win!” Lena almost blushed that the nickname. Note the almost. Brainy and Nia, unsurprisingly crushed all of them in Exploding Cats. Ever since that one night when Alex beat everyone in that card game, and Brainy had run billions of simulations, he never lost again in that particular game. 

What surprises Lena the most, is how this game night turned out different than what Alex and her had expected. Somehow, everybody had accepted that she was a part of them. Nobody was wary of her presence. Nobody was eyeing her carefully from the side. Nobody was setting their guards up, preparing for her to turn rogue at any moment. It was like the past year had never happened. And it scared her. Because good things never happen to her without a series of bad things following suit. Because it was too good to be true. Because there are only three ways this could end. First, they were only putting up a facade, pretending to be accepting, and if she let them in again, they will hurt her all over again; Second, they were truly genuine and she ends up being a valuable asset to this team; Third, they were truly genuine and she ends up betraying them once again (because lord knows Luthors should never be trusted). And maybe Alex read her mind, or sensed her inner conflict, because at that exact moment, she rested her hand against Lena’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring look. “You’re a part of us now. No take backs,” she had said, and it was all Lena needed to hear.

Lena knows that she’s broken. She had known that fact for her whole life. But what she didn’t know then, was that everybody is broken in their own way. Luthors are the definition of a lone wolf; they don’t work in teams; they trust one person, and one person only: themselves. Tonight, she realized that it’s when those broken pieces fit together, they don’t necessarily have to be broken anymore. And if that is what it feels like to be part of a team, she’s signing up. Because the people sitting in Kara’s apartment right there, those are her people now. They are the ones who made her feel like she belonged— something she never got to feel in the Luthor’s household. She would go down swinging for these guys, because she knows they would do the same. And if they ended up in hell, then so be it; at least they’d be in it together. 

Another special trait that the Luthors have is their insufferable hobby of quoting dead people. So it wasn’t a huge shocker when the infamous quote of Bob Marley ran through her mind. “Truth is everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

And she decided right there and then, they are worth suffering for. 

x

They had to change to another game after Kara accidentally burn the cards in Lena’s hands from being too excited when they had _finally_ gotten blackjacks after what seemed like the eighth attempt. However, they did own scrabble and monopoly, because come on, does anyone even need an explanation for that?

By 9pm, they ended up squeezing on the couch in Kara’s apartment, their usual game night turned into movie night after Brainy and Nia accidentally broke three more board games in one night (don’t ask, it’s a long story). She was wedged between the Danvers sisters. It made sense since Alex and her were the only ones drinking, and Kara was... well, Kara. After half an hour arguing what to watch on Netflix, which obviously Kara won because she used her signature pout, they settled for ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ despite some grumbling and complaining, mostly from Alex. 

Alex shot her _’See, I told you this would be fine’_ glances every time Lena laughed at somebody’s horrible attempt at a joke. Every so often she would feel Kara leaning closer against her, not that she’s complaining, and for one moment, everything feels...normal.

Though when Lara Jean says that she’s scared of letting people in her life because the more she let in, the more they can walk right out, if Lena’s eyes reflexively glanced across everyone in the room during those exact words, lingering a little longer when they reach Kara, nobody paid enough attention at her to notice. And when Lena found herself smiling the entire night, she was almost sure it wasn’t because of the half bottle of scotch, but who’s to judge?

x

Halfway through the movie, she felt a warm body pressed closer against her and a voice whispering in her ear. “Hey um, do you mind staying back a little while after the movie?” 

She tried to ignore the goosebumps running down her spine and only nodded in response. 

She didn’t pay much attention to the rest of the movie after that.

x  
...

“Do you want ice cream?”

“Sure.”

Kara rummaged through the freezer, pulling out two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s. 

“Here you go, one tub of cookie dough ice cream, your favorite.”

 _She remembers._ Lena looked over to Kara’s. Chocolate chip. _Just like old times._ She probably had been thinking (reminiscing) a little longer than necessary, because Kara freaked out a little when she didn’t make a move on the dessert placed in front of her. 

“Wait, do you not like cookie dough ice cream anymore? I just assumed— I’m sorry, what flavor do you want, I can see if I have any?”

She gave her a little smile. “It’s fine Kara. Cookie dough is still my favorite.”

“Pheww, okay, because I’m pretty sure there are only two flavors in the fridge, unless Alex bought other flavors, because I only buy the two.”

 _Did she—_. She didn’t get to finish her initial thought before a second one kicked its way in. _Nope. She wouldn’t have, because you had ‘hurt her in all the ways imaginable’. It’s merely a coincidence and you’re lucky to even be standing in the same room together._

“Lena?” 

She snapped out of her thoughts. “Hmm?”

“Are you okay? You seem a little out of it. Are you tired? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you. Do you want to go home? We can totally do this another time.”

“Kara, I’m fine. Not that I don’t want to be here, but, why did you ask me to stay back?” Lena asked, while scooping a huge chunk of ice cream into her mouth.

She could see Kara nervously fidgeting with her spoon on the other side. “I think we should talk.”

 _What is it today with people and their need to ‘talk’, whatever that entails? First Alex, then Andrea— okay to be fair she’s the one who wanted to talk to Andrea, but whatever, and now, Kara._

She had really reached the limit of ‘talking things out’, or more specifically, ‘pouring her soul out’ in the span of a day. 

“I feel bad for some of the things I said two days ago, and I want to apologize.”

“It’s fine. They’re the truth anyway. No point sugarcoating it. We both need to get it out of our system. I did, so it’s only fair if you did too,” she shrugged.

Kara sighed. “Please Lena. I really want to talk, without the yelling preferably,” she said sheepishly. “I thought about what you said, about how you’ve only been looking from your side, and I realized I’ve kinda been doing the same. So I want to hear your side because I don’t believe that the only reason you did all those stuff is to get back at me.”

Lena looked up, and found her eyes meeting ones she used to always get lost into. That had always been the deal about Kara. One bat of her eyes and Lena would have told her all of L-Corp’s secrets. One pleading look could make Lena eat potstickers for five days straight. And she knows if she glanced into her eyes for just a few more seconds, she would reveal all her vulnerability. So, she did what always do best. She ran. She turned away. She avoided her gaze. 

But that’s the thing. She promised herself that she would stop running. Because every time she ran, she always found herself alone in the end. And she’s done with being alone. She’s done confining herself from the outside world. She’s done with running. 

“I really thought I was doing the right thing.” When Kara made no move to interrupt, she continued. “I let Lex get into my head. I guess the fact that he was one who told me the truth about your identity, and not you, really got the best of me. All those stuffs that I did to hurt you, well that’s just me being childish and petty,” she laughed dryly. “I’m really sorry about using kryptonite on you.”

“It’s okay, after all you did save me from getting killed by kryptonite,” Kara murmured.

“Well, building the suit is the least I could do in helping you defeating Leviathan after everything.”

“I didn’t mean the suit.” Kara smiled. “I meant from Andrea, or whoever she is wearing that outfit.”

Lena was taken aback. “Wait, how— how did you know?”

“I saw you hugging her, with kryptonite in your hands. So either you are helping her to kill me, or convincing her not to kill me. I’m guessing it was the latter.”

“But you were still in the VR.”

“I put the lenses back in right before you convinced her to go.”

“Huh.” She didn’t know what else to say. 

“Thank you for risking your life to save me, Lena.”

Lena could really use some alcohol instead of ice cream right now. So she did something that she was surprised she would even think of. She raised her spoon with ice cream, “To always having each other’s backs.” 

As their spoons clang, Kara’s voice repeated hers. “To always having each other’s backs.”

“I miss being best friends with you,” Lena whispered. 

_I miss you._

She had been trying to convince herself for one whole year that she is better off without Kara Danvers in her life. Obviously, any reasoning or convincing only led her into thinking about her and missing her more. Now that the truth is out, with Kara and her alter-ego, and Lena’s realization that there aren’t anymore reasons being mad about it any longer, there wasn’t anything stopping her from admitting that yes, she had truly, really miss spending time with Kara. 

“I miss us too,” Kara replied softly. 

The tension in the room was still palpable, but Kara’s reassurance that she wasn’t the only one missing whatever it is that they had in the past, lifted a little weight off her shoulders somehow. 

“What’s your first last name?” Kara suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them. Seeing her cocked eyebrow, Kara hastily explained, “Rao I meant— Remember when we first met, as Kara, in your office, you mentioned that your last name was not always Luthor. I’ve always wondered what your last name was before you were adopted.” Realizing Lena’s silence, she added, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Lena was appalled by the question. Well, not exactly ‘appalled’ per se, more like, startled. And it wasn’t because it was a personal question or something that she never shared with anyone (actually yeah, she had never shared that information with anybody). It wasn’t exactly a secret, but no one had bothered to ask, not even Andrea. Everybody was usually more interested in the fact that her last name is Luthor, or they couldn’t bring themselves to care. So yes, she’s startled that Kara had asked her that particular question. 

“Kieran.” 

She had not said that name for a very long time; it felt unfamiliar as it rolled off her tongue. But somehow, it brought warmth to her heart, hearing herself said it out loud. 

“Kieran. Lena Kieran. That sounds pretty.” 

_Lena Kieran._

Lena’s heart beat a little faster unknowingly at Kara’s voice saying her name, _that_ name, or hearing her name, not as a Luthor. And maybe when Kara heard her quickened heartbeat, her own skipped a little as well. So thank Rao that Lena does not possess any superhearing powers. 

“Zor-El.”

“Hmm?” Lena hummed questionably. 

“Kara Zor-El.” Kara said it again, louder this time. Like she was convincing herself, more than telling Lena. “Kara Zor-El is my name on Krypton.”

“Kara Zor-El.” Lena repeated, immediately liking the way it rolled familiarly from her tongue, like she had said it countless times before.

Kara asked again. “If you could change your last name again, would you change it back to Kieran?” 

Lena understood that she didn’t mean any malice behind it; that it was just a simple, genuine question. 

“No.” She stopped to think as to how she should word her answer. “As much as the trouble the Luthor name had brought me, it gave me something good too. I had a dad who loved me despite his alcoholic demeanor, and a brother who did care for me, in his own way, before his obsession went out of control. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows but it wasn’t exactly all bad, you know? I still had some good times in that big old mansion. Though it wasn’t the perfect family that people envisioned it to be, I guess I am quite fortunate seeing how other people are dealing with far worse circumstances.”

She didn’t say, everything she had, everything she has, is because her last name is Luthor, not Kieran. Her company— used-to-company, her lab, inventions, all the riches, fancy education, were there because she was raised by the Luthors. All she was, is, her personality, her determination, was because she was raised _as a Luthor._ Nope, she didn’t say all that; she just simply plastered another smile on her face. 

Kara hummed. “Just because other people had been through worse, doesn’t mean you don’t hurt too.”

_Maybe I deserved it, whatever _it_ is. The loneliness, the dirty looks, the criticisms._

“I’m sorry you had to kill Lex.”

She was stunned, clearly not expecting her to bring that up. Clearing her throat before answering, “For one, he’s not dead. And two,” —she fidgeted nervously, almost couldn’t bring herself to say it— “he deserved it.”

“Putting aside what he did, he’s still your brother. It couldn’t have not hurt, bringing yourself to shoot him. He’s your family after all. And I know how hard it is to stand against your own family.” Kara said, head down. 

When Lena did not reply, Kara looked up and saw eyes urging her to explain. “Before you moved here, my actual aunt and uncle, Astra and Non, they had this plan to use Myriad to control the minds of everyone in this world, starting with National City.”

 _Fuck, using Myriad was personal._

“I tried so hard to convince them not to use it. Astra is— was one of my most favorite people. We used to be so close,” Kara laughed sadly. “She would teach me about the stars. We even had this spy beacon where we could secretly contact each other back on Krypton. But my mom had to banish them to Fort Rozz for committing some extreme crimes, and they escaped to earth when my pod landed here. Alex,” she sucked in a breath. “Alex had to kill her when she almost killed J’onn.” A single drop of grief rolled down Kara’s cheek and Lena had to muster all she had to not wiping it away with her thumb. “If I had tried harder, if I had more time, I could have convinced her to stop. I almost convinced her.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lena said as she placed her hand over Kara’s.

“It was. It is. I had to kill Non, my own uncle, so that he wouldn’t mind control every single person on this earth. I killed both of my own blood,” Kara whispered.

“I’m sorry.” That was all Lena could say at the moment, and Kara only nodded in response as the tears fall slowly.

x

They spent the better half of their ‘late-night talk’ crying, and sitting in silence more than talking.

And ever since Lena had decided not to suppress her feelings, well, _all_ of her feelings anymore, she had had this unusual gut feeling about Kara, more than ever. 

Like how she would found herself wanting to see her more so than often. Or the way her heart flutters every time Kara smiled that warm sunny smile of hers. And possibly how the day seems to get better every time she’s around. Let’s not forget, their hugs. Oh god, their hugs. The one she would melt into and just forget about everything even for a split second. 

Maybe it was because Kara was one of the most genuine person appearing in her life, or maybe she was just glad that despite everything she had done for the past year, she forgave her and that they were still on ‘good’ terms. 

And maybe, just possibly, she may be falling for the damn reporter that showed up dorky and adorable in her office years ago. 

And these are all terrifying for her. Because having a best friend, and falling for your best friend are two very _very_ different things. 

But really, it’s a thought for another day. 

Just one day. She would like to enjoy just this one day, and not think about anything else. 

No drama. No secrets and lies. No evil brother. No company businesses to deal with. No revenge to plot. No crazy gods trying to destroy the world. No ex-best friend trying to kill their current reconciled best friend. 

Just her. And Kara. Being here, being normal.

(and of course the rest of the superfriends— because psshhhh like Lena would forget about them in this moment) 

(actually yeah, yeah she would)

_Yup, it’s a thought for another day._

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOOO WHAT DO YA THINK OF MY SECOND SG FIC?  
> -my exams just ended so I have extra time on my hands to write this, so BE NICEE
> 
> I had a writer's block so yeah this ended up being posted maybe a week later than expected (and maybe I was procrastinating).  
> At first, I wanted to write some angsty stuff for Lena, but I think she has quite enough of that for 5 (or 4) seasons so let's give her a little break shall we.
> 
> I spent so much time re-reading and re-editing this in the 'writer's block' period that if I read it one more time I am going to delete the entire thing so if there are like tons of grammar mistakes, please forgive me. (and sorry for the rushed ending because like I said, if I read it again I will simultaneously combust)
> 
> And if this is a little too domestic for Lena, WELL SUE ME. (please don't)
> 
> Plus, if ya'll are really expecting a love confession or a kiss hahahaha you are not getting it because come on, they just reconciled as friends, it'd be at least one or two more chapters before we have the relationship sailing. But too bad this is a one-shot because I don't think I would be patient enough to write an entire season story. This is honestly barely an episode story but who cares. But trust me, Supercorp stays winning.
> 
> ps. i have no idea how coluan's physiology work so just let me bs that thanks
> 
> OKAY UNTIL NEXT TIME GUYS. LOVE YALL FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE WITH MY PREVIOUS SG FIC.  
> DROP DOWN IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!


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